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I’m in the midst of making some big decisions in my life and it has me nervous.  I find myself craving my old friend ice cream!   This wouldn’t be so bad if I had any control and could have just one scoop of ice cream but once I start eating it–it as though there is no off mechanism.  I could eat a whole container of ice cream in a couple sittings.  I allowed myself a trip to Rite Aid to get some ice cream.  A couple hours later I felt disgusting, and I started to analyze just what the ice cream was all about. (Again!)  Ice cream in our family growing up was the “feel better” treat.  If you had a bad day or a boo boo, or if you were a “good girl” while the adults were taking you on a shopping trip–the reward was often a trip to our local Baskin Robbins. 

So I had fallen back into the “you need a reward”  mindset.  It became pretty clear that this sort of reward doesn’t work for me.  Once again, I’m reminding myself that food can’t be a reward or comfort.  But as I tell my clients, if you aren’t giving yourself love or a reward outside of food, it is going to be awfully hard to give up that food comfort/reward system long term.  Every time I find myself slipping into old habits, I also find that I have been tough on myself and not given myself enough love.  In the last few weeks I’ve been “all work” and very little play.  Fortunately because I’ve been exercising, the scale hasn’t gone up but it hasn’t gone down either.  So today, I’m focusing on loving myself by only doing things that support me today.  And I’m looking at my calendar and making some play dates for myself.

Happy Independence Day for Readers in the United States. Today we celebrate the birth of the United States as a nation. I hope everyone has a safe and happy Fourth of July. Today a short musing on Independence, Interdependence and Connectedness.

This morning as I write this I’m struck by how we are celebrating our Nation’s Independence at a time in the world where we are more connected than ever. The Internet has made is possible for this blog to be read anywhere in the world that there is computer access to the Internet and an understanding of the English language. That’s pretty amazing!

As a country we’ve placed lots of value on Independence. The declaration spoke of the self evident truth that all men are created equal and have the inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We love symbols of rugged individualism such as the American Cowboy. We value people who “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and succeed.

But also rooted deep in the tradition of these independent people was the sense of interdependence and connectedness. Our 13 colonies would not have succeeded in forming the nation without making that stand as a unit. Pioneers relied on neighbors at a distance to help them succeed and survive.  Our rugged individualism has always been rooted in a deep sense of community.

And no matter how individualistic we try to be, my spiritual beliefs tell me we are all one and connected.

What does this mean for us as individuals trying to live well and stress less? There are a great many things to ponder this day of Independence. I’ll phrase them as questions that came to me today.

• Am I exercising my right to pursue happiness?  Or am I just going through the day and getting by?  (On the whole for me, the answer is yes.  But some days, I need to remember that I can choose to pursue happiness or I can pursue unhappiness just by how I look at the events of my day!)
• Have I formed an alliance with others of common purpose to help me with my goals?  (Yes and I always welcome more to the alliance!)
• Am I trying to go it alone when asking for help would be more practical or fulfilling? (This one is where I really can do better.  Asking for help has been hard for me in the past.  I’m working on this one.)
• Do I take time to remember at my connectedness with God/the Universe/Others?  (I’ve been better at my meditation and gratitude practice but there is always room for improvement here.)

These questions are good to ask at any time but I think they are especially right today! 

Happy Fourth Everyone!  Stay Safe and enjoy your weekend.

Hugs

Carol

I am back to report in and write a bit about my journey of late. I have continued on the Transitions program, and at the last check in had lost about 14 pounds. I have learned some good things in the process, too - things that echo totally what Carol wrote about what makes us gain and what doesn’t. I believe we have lots of anecdotal proof for her theory about the reasons we eat driving the storage of fat on our bodies. I now really do believe this as well, and also understand in a whole new way the fact that I just need to keep returning to what works for me food-wise. I can overindulge (and totally enjoy it when I do!), take the consequences to how I feel afterwards, and go right back to cleaner, healthy eating and journey on down my healthier path. I have also found that I actually love many of the dietary changes I have made over the past year. Who would have thought I’d be eating a cup or 2 of veggies most mornings, but I am and miss it when I don’t.

Here’s to finally starting to get it!

Karen

I loved this post on the “Shift into Action” website entitled The Top Ten Tenets for Creative Living.  It reminds me of the principles I am trying to live by.  I’m going to print it out and add it to my morning meditation reading. 

Each morning, I read something inspiring, meditate, express gratitude and journal.  It adds an hour to my getting ready for the day routine but it sets the tone for the day so well.  On days when I don’t do this first it feels like leaving the house without brushing your teeth.  Just so wrong!

I have to remind myself constantly about how much better I feel when I take the time to start the day off from a place of connection to spirit rather than connection to busyness. 

Even if you don’t spend an hour with a practice like this, I encourage you to carve out a few minutes before you rush forward with your day. 

Hugs

C

For many who work normal 9a-5pm jobs, Mondays are days they groan about having to go back to work. The weekend is over and the serious stuff begins again.  For me, since I work Saturdays seeing clients, I try to make Mondays a day off.  Sometimes I don’t succeed and I’ll schedule a speech or a client on Mondays but in general for me, Mondays are easy days.

But the true joy of Monday for me is that each Monday is like a mini-new year.  You get a whole new week to decide how you are going to live.  You reset your intentions for your life.  What do you want to accomplish this week?  What exciting thing can I manifest this week?  How am I going to take care of myself this week with food and exercise?  Notice I didn’t say, “I’m getting back on my diet”.  I am not on a diet.  I am on a “healthy eating, take care of Carol” program.  When I look at my life this way, I am excited to begin a new week.  It is a week of opportunities not a week of “shoulds.” 

And today I am focusing on the healthy eating part of the program.  I went to my friends Kristi and Paolo’s on Saturday night.  There, the food and wine flowed and I joyfully ate my way through Paolo’s wonderful authentic Italian cooking–pasta, homemade pizza from his wonderful outdoor wood pizza oven, amazing chicken and a dessert that was like a shortbread cookie with lemon custard on it.  All yummy.  Most not on my normal program but I enjoyed every bite and I believe that this food cooked with so much love and care was nurturing for my body and spirit. 

I do know this can’t be an everyday occurrence if I want my body to let go of the extra weight but I also believe deep inside that the intention with which food is prepared and eaten makes a difference in what it does to our bodies.  I have no proof of this, but here is what I think:  When we are eating food for comfort to shut off a hurt we are supposed to feel, that food translates into more pounds than food we are eating in celebration and love.  This is just my theory. I have no proof.  But I believe that when we eat food for because we are hurting and want to suppress the hurt, it is like telling the body,  ”Insulate me from this pain.  I don’t want to feel or experience the outside world.”  So we get more insulation in the form of fat.

I’ve noticed over the last year of focusing on my eating that the occasional joyful celebration does not make me gain weight.  The container of Hagen Daas over the kitchen sink because I’m agitated or scared sure does! 

I’m sure there may be studies of this somewhere but it is a theory that is working for me–so I’m sticking with it.

Happy Monday everyone!

Carol

I found a cool site called podrunner.net with free workout music downloads.  The music is electronic and techno.  Honestly not my favorite music style but I downloaded a track and put it on my IPOD and listened to it at the gym while on the elliptical trainer.  The track I had was 150 beat per minute and I found my steps per minute were up as I naturally paced myself to the music.  An added benefit is I got a nice little trance going as I worked out–so I was able to start saying some affirmations to myself and use my workout time for some self-programming.  I wouldn’t use these tracks every day.  Sometimes I would rather listen to some good old fashion rock and roll which is more my music.  But as pace music they worked really well.  Did I mention the downloads are free? 

First of all I’m giving myself a pat on the back because I managed that emotional trip to see my mom without gaining a pound.  I was afraid to step on the scale when I got  home but I did it and my restraint worked.  I also got some cool feedback from the owner of my gym.  I hadn’t seen Allen in a while and when I walked in yesterday he said, “wow–look at you!   You are doing great!”   Thanks Allen for noticing and taking the time to comment it made my day.  (BTW if you are in South Pasadena and looking for a great place to work out–check out SNAP Fitness on Meridian.  It is my new workout home and Allen Cutler the owner is a great guy!

Also want to give a shout out to one of our regular readers–Connie who shared with me that she just passed one of her big weight loss goals.  I won’t share the number with you because that’s up to her but I want to give a high five to Connie.

Time for a LIve Well Stress Less Celebration!

I was talking with Karen the other day and told her I was reviewing the status of  all the automatic emails that I have been getting.  She agreed it was a good idea for her too so I thought I’d share it here.

Many times we decide to try something like an email newsletter and then find out that it really isn’t a priority for us to read it.  Week after week it arrives in your mailbox and you delete it and move on.  A couple of weeks ago, I decided to start removing myself from some of those lists.  While only taking a few seconds to delete an email may not seem like a big deal, cumulatively opening your email box and seeing those 10-20 emails a day does take an attention unit.  Eliminating those emails helps me feel lighter.

But the idea of unsubscribing can go deep than just the emails in your in box.  Are there beliefs you need to unsubscribe from?  Maybe you bought into the idea that you can’t lose weight because your family is all heavy or that you can’t do something for yourself because “good mothers” don’t. 

To have a healthier life we have to pay attention to the those things that we subscribed to, and notice how they effect us.  Are they in line with our spirit?  Do they give us energy or take it away?  Notice what things are automatically coming into your life because you “signed up” for them awhile ago.  Do they still serve you?  If not, unsubscribe! Release them and release yourself from the burden of being hooked up to something you don’t need and doesn’t serve you.

Hugs

C

I’m safely back at home and so happy I made the trip to see my Mom and sister.  The family trips which are not a vacation are an important thing to do.  Often when we are asked to list our priorities, we say family first but then our actions actually put the priority somewhere else.  I know I’ve certainly missed calling my mom due to work constraints.  I’m happy when I take actions that are in line with my true priorities.  And that trip home no matter how sad or emotional was definitely in line with my priorities of honoring family.

This morning in my email, I got a notice from another coach for a teleclass.  The subject line of the email was–”Erase all self doubts tonight!”  I smile to myself when I see coaches and authors trying to sell materials with those sort of headlines.  Oh if it were only that easy!  Yes we all can have epiphanies where everything changes and like a miracle the way we look at the world changes.   But more often change comes through consistent action toward a goal.  And when it comes to self-doubt, even some of our most successful people still have doubts. 

I remember a couple of years ago, Meryl Streep was on Oprah and she was saying that after she signs on for a role she often calls her agent and says–”I can’t do that role you have to get me out of it.”  Whether you are a Meryl Streep fan or not–you have to admit she’s one accomplished actress.  And she has gotten there not because she got rid of her self-doubt but because she acted in spite of the doubt. 

I firmly believe we can reduce our tendency to self-doubt and increase our ability to take action.  But the quick fix is one of the myths that I think that coaches and hypnotherapists must take care in advocating.  I hear it often.  “I tried hypnosis once–it didn’t work for me.”  When I ask about the person’s experience of hypnosis–I hear that they had one session and it didn’t work to change their lives.  The expectation was so huge so therefore the let down was just as huge. 

There are a few people who have the quick life altering change but for most people change is gradual.  Change is gradual because we like it that way.  It is more comfortable for us.  So what we really have to ask ourselves–am I ready to change everything today?  Am I ready to totally change everything about my life?  Or am I someone who would prefer to ease into it?  Be honest.  It will help you determine how fast you can make a change.  If total transformation now sounds good to you–go for it.  If like me, you need some time to adjust and lock in new habits while keeping some familiarity–don’t kick yourself for not being able to make instantaneous change happen today.  I think we are in the majority.  The true test is not whether change is fast or slow–it is whether we keep the commitment to ourselves to keep working on it.  Keep working on it, in spite of our doubts or fears. 

What’s one thing you are trying to change that would benefit from you releasing your expectation of a quick fix?

This will be a quick post because I’m writing from the airport in Chicago, waiting for my flight back to LA which if I’m lucky will begin boarding in about 15 minutes.  As I mentioned I was in Illinois to see my mother who will turn 86 in July.  It is always an emotional trip as I am aware of the losses my mom has had in her abilities each time I see her.  Saturday was an especially hard day as her Parkinson’s was especially bad that day and she was “stuck”.  Her body wouldn’t cooperate with her and kept freezing.  She’d want to move her legs or arms and couldn’t.  It is obviously very hard to face this in anyone much less a parent who you spent a good portion of your life thinking she was all powerful. 

As I left for lunch on Saturday the first thing I thought of was–I want pizza.  My home town has lots of pizza places and I could have done that.  But instead I thought about what I really needed and since it was one of the rare days where it wasn’t raining.  I decided to grab something healthier for lunch and head for a park so I could feel the breeze and sit in some green space.

So here is my self portrait in the park

It was interesting.  There was no one in the park until I was getting ready to leave.  It was as though the  universe was giving me the peace and quiet I needed to calm and center myself so I could go back to my mom’s assisted living home and be there for her without my grief about her illness.  I want to cherish each moment we have because I know there will not be many more.  Sometimes all we need is a little space in somewhere beautiful to help us release stress and do the harder stuff we need to do.  It certainly worked for me.

Gotta sign off.  Almost time for boarding!

Hugs

C